Seasons

We tend to associate life with seasons. Temperate countries write about the summer of life, about autumn, about winter, about spring. Life is at its peak during summer. Life changes during autumn. Death comes during winter. Revival comes during spring. Well, what about tropical countries? All we get is heat and rain, heat and rain, heat and rain.

Well, Malaysia has haze. There's the super hot season, the mildly hot season, the one-hour-rain-per-day season, and the hazy season. And the season when it's cool enough to wear a jacket at night but not cold enough to be called an actual cold season because the noon sun is as hot as it is any time of the year.

My life in Malaysia can almost be associated with the weather patterns here. Some days (I hope most) I am burning with fire - passion for the Lord, for what I'm doing, and all that. 

Some days I feel hazy. There was a particular season I felt very hazy. I don't take depression lightly. Yet there was a particular year when all I did was cry at night. I'll never really know if I was actually depressed, but those were dark days. Those were even darker nights. I'm past that season, thankfully. I got my life back together. I started my mission to be happy, when I began my quest to enjoy life.

Some days I feel the rain falling down on my heart. I don't think you'll ever get past being homesick. Six years in Malaysia and I still miss home every now and again.

But Malaysia won't leave you cold for long. The heat is on again. And though the rain comes (one blasted hour per day) I'm in that place where I'm nice and warm, all revved up to get things done.

I'm glad I'm in this season. But I won't belittle the others. Each season - the happy ones, the painful ones - they all brought me closer to God.

I think that is what truly matters.

Haze, haze, baby.

In a Parallel Universe

When I tell people about my family, I get a kick out of seeing how their eyes widen with surprise with every quirky detail shared:

"Well, my parents are both college professors. They've been teaching in the university five minutes from my house for over twenty years." (Polite nods)

"My brother is teaching, too. He's teaching in the same university." (Eyes wide as teacups)

"He shares the same office with my parents." (Eyes wide as saucers)

"His name is Quantum. Do you know what he teaches? Physics! So yeah, he's my little brother. And, yeah, he's taking up his PhD." (Eyes wide as dinner plates, followed by laments like "What am I doing with my life???")

"Well, their life is fun and awesome. They see each other at work. They see each other at home. I'm kinda like the deviant, noh? Ever since university, I've been away from home." (Eyes shrinking back to their normal size)

That's their life right now. It makes an interesting icebreaker. It makes me wonder a bit though. What if I was right at home with them? What if I stayed in La Trinidad forever?

Or, in a parallel universe, what if they were living in Malaysia with me all this time?

The two make interesting scenarios. I had a taste of the latter when they visited me post-Christmas 2012. They stayed until after New Year. It was different, hearing their familiar voices and shuffles through the walls of my Malaysian apartment. It was as if we were never separated. It felt like... home.

Minus the warm fluffy blankets and the chill, unstuffy weather.

There was an abundance of food in the refrigerator. They bought lots of fruits and cold cuts. They amused themselves walking all around (and I mean walking all around) Kuala Lumpur while I went to the office to report for work. We spent New Year's Eve counting down at the Petronas Twin Towers and they video chatted with Ades (who postponed the chat just so that he could shower for the occasion - lol!). I drove us over to Penang. And then after a few short days... they were gone.

And the parallel world gave way to the real one.

I miss them. As you can see, living in a distant shore isn't all fun and games. Though I turn 16 whenever I go home or whenever we find each other in the same space again, it doesn't hurt being a teen again, sometimes.

Malaysia has taught me to not take family for granted. It has taught me to appreciate my biological family all the more. It's funny how distance does that. Well, if you are living with your family now, or if they are just a few bus-hours away, don't take them for granted. Love them. And don't forget to tell them that.

Pa, Ma, Quantum - this entry goes out to you. I love you! 

We're so happy! 2013. Taken at my old house. We're not that tan in real life.

Enjoy Life Part 3: Bucket Lists Galore

I'm not staying in Malaysia forever. There, I said it. I am not a PR. I am under a working permit. When your passport is issued by a foreign country, when your visa says you can only stay up to a certain date, you have to accept the fact that you have a point of expiry. Sure, you can always renew whatever visa you're holding. But you have to be aware that life can and will happen.

Quoting something I wrote somewhere else:

Visas, passes, contracts will end or get rejected. Boyfriends will propose, weddings will be celebrated, babies will get birthed out. You’ll have to plan and decide whether your kids will be home schooled, whether they will go to public school, or whether you will spend truckloads of cash to send them to an international school. Loved ones will get sick, loved ones will ask you to come back home, loved ones will ask you to stay there but in the end it is your heart that will realize it can’t spend another 12 months of separation.

You'll kick the bucket eventually. You'll go home or move somewhere else.

Thus my friends and I decided to write down our "Malaysian Bucket Lists" while eating at a burger joint in Petaling Jaya. We're solemn, like that. We each wrote down 20 items. Wait, was it 20 or 15? Anyway, my final list now contains 20.

Our items ranged from crazy to ordinary. One included "join a fashion show" on her list. I wrote cook 10 Filipino dishes (not in one go, but ugh, I haven't started this one yet). We simply wrote down everything we wanted to do in Malaysia while we were here, before we each went home or moved on to our next nations.

I've crossed three items out. Perform original songs onstage - check. Catch a live concert of a well known international artist - check-Ed-Sheeran-check! Go to a Chinese open house - well, I went to a Chinese Wedding (yes, I will write about this Peter, soon, when this series is over), so I'll say check to this one.

I've even managed to do something I never in a million years thought to even include in the list: get permanently inked. It wasn't something I had always wanted to do. It was something I did out of thoughtful, careful spontaneity (oxymoron, I know). I wanted to prove several things to myself and several things to others, too. One: I don't fit in a box. Two: Faith, hope, and love - especially love - should last forever, as in forever. Three: Too many times we're stuck with words and we never actually jump. I wanted to go from saying "Let's do it!" to actually doing it.

With that, I still have a lot of things left to do on my list. I've several lined up: join fun run, watch Hillsong live (not included in original list, must add it there ASAP), and cook one more Malaysian dish (I cooked two, but I used ready made mixes, lol). And then there are the 15 others (I know I'm messing up with your math).

Life's too short. We should seize the moments and make the days count. I'm determined to complete my list before my time in Malaysia runs out.

Let's enjoy life!

Post Ed Sheeran Concert. And, yes, I went on my own.